1 00:00:24,452 --> 00:00:28,237 I did the movie with Baz. 2 00:00:28,414 --> 00:00:32,745 - I did not see it. - Oh, but you know the story. 3 00:00:32,919 --> 00:00:38,425 - No, not really. - Oh, my God, The Gift Of The Magi? 4 00:00:39,509 --> 00:00:40,740 This isn't gonna work. 5 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:44,753 They were supposed to cut it on the bias. You can't wear this. 6 00:00:44,931 --> 00:00:49,760 Carla, non mi piace. Di' a Battistoni di rifarlo. 7 00:00:49,936 --> 00:00:53,638 Let me see what I can do here. Turn this way. 8 00:00:53,815 --> 00:00:57,150 Prego! Prego! Andiamo! 9 00:00:58,236 --> 00:01:03,232 Anyway, The Gift Of The Magi is a story by O Henry. 10 00:01:03,408 --> 00:01:07,157 It's about the foolish sacrifices we make for love. 11 00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:10,284 Foolish? How? 12 00:01:10,457 --> 00:01:13,708 In the story, there are two young lovers, Jim and Della. 13 00:01:13,877 --> 00:01:14,735 They have no money 14 00:01:14,736 --> 00:01:19,003 and they want to buy each other a Christmas present. 15 00:01:21,093 --> 00:01:25,138 I'm gonna try something but I gotta pin it from underneath. 16 00:01:25,305 --> 00:01:26,586 OK. 17 00:01:26,764 --> 00:01:28,888 So Joe, the young man, 18 00:01:29,058 --> 00:01:34,683 he has only one possession, his grandfather's gold pocket watch... 19 00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:40,859 ... which he treasures more than anything. 20 00:01:44,824 --> 00:01:47,493 Except for Della. 21 00:01:57,712 --> 00:02:00,879 Shall I go on? 22 00:02:01,048 --> 00:02:03,089 What? 23 00:02:03,259 --> 00:02:05,383 With the story. 24 00:02:06,679 --> 00:02:09,966 Yes. Please. 25 00:02:29,994 --> 00:02:33,827 ♪ Y de noche ♪ 26 00:02:33,998 --> 00:02:36,668 ♪ Y de noche ♪ 27 00:02:37,836 --> 00:02:42,414 ♪ Por no sentirte solo ♪ 28 00:02:42,590 --> 00:02:45,259 ♪ Recordarás ♪ 29 00:03:14,121 --> 00:03:16,791 Where have you been? 30 00:03:16,958 --> 00:03:20,291 I, um... I met these two kids. 31 00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:23,976 And they lived in this little town called Bishop, 32 00:03:23,977 --> 00:03:26,300 which is in the Sierras. 33 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:29,385 And it was so beautiful. 34 00:03:29,553 --> 00:03:33,421 There was this mountain called Thunderbolt Peak. 35 00:03:33,599 --> 00:03:38,427 You know I could never make it to the top of a mountain, right? 36 00:03:38,604 --> 00:03:41,689 - You climbed a mountain? - Yeah. 37 00:03:45,569 --> 00:03:49,402 - I got your letter, Jenny. - Uh-huh. 38 00:03:51,825 --> 00:03:55,610 I never wanted you to rip your heart out. 39 00:03:55,788 --> 00:04:01,032 I just... wanted you to be honest with me. 40 00:04:02,378 --> 00:04:04,418 Yes. 41 00:04:06,506 --> 00:04:09,710 I have this present for you. 42 00:04:09,885 --> 00:04:14,299 I found this in this little, tiny town called Lone Pine. 43 00:04:15,141 --> 00:04:19,222 It's a chain for your stopwatch, 44 00:04:19,395 --> 00:04:21,969 so you don't forget it all the time. 45 00:04:24,274 --> 00:04:26,103 I broke it. 46 00:04:32,616 --> 00:04:35,951 - It was your grandfather's. - Yeah, it was. 47 00:04:38,747 --> 00:04:40,788 It was that day. 48 00:04:46,755 --> 00:04:49,044 I'm sorry. 49 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:57,885 So that was... the first time it happened? 50 00:04:59,768 --> 00:05:01,263 Yes. 51 00:05:11,863 --> 00:05:14,106 Those are yours. Get out. 52 00:05:15,784 --> 00:05:19,284 You've been screwing her since the first night you went out! 53 00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:24,663 Even Bette and Tina knew. I was the only idiot who had no fucking clue! 54 00:05:27,046 --> 00:05:28,752 You pathological, fucking liar! 55 00:05:28,753 --> 00:05:32,752 Get out of my house. Get out of my house. 56 00:05:35,721 --> 00:05:37,761 - Go. - OK. 57 00:05:38,973 --> 00:05:41,051 No, no... 58 00:05:56,700 --> 00:06:02,074 - And that's it. You want us to ask, so... - Just 'cause she's squatty... 59 00:06:02,246 --> 00:06:04,413 She's just short, guys. All right? 60 00:06:04,414 --> 00:06:06,791 There's nothing wrong with it. She's tiny. 61 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,630 Fucking Shane met Madonna at a party. 62 00:06:09,796 --> 00:06:13,546 - La petite blonde qui chante ? - Does she want you? 63 00:06:13,717 --> 00:06:18,179 - Did you already do her? - Well, I am doing her hair next week. 64 00:06:18,346 --> 00:06:20,969 - Harry gave Shane his yacht. - His yacht? 65 00:06:21,141 --> 00:06:24,059 Yeah, Friday night. I'm having a party. 66 00:06:24,228 --> 00:06:26,933 - Hi. - Hi, guys! 67 00:06:27,105 --> 00:06:29,679 - Hello. - Hi. 68 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,563 Here's a chair for you. 69 00:06:32,736 --> 00:06:36,781 - Oh... - So, Tina, how do you feel? 70 00:06:36,948 --> 00:06:39,025 Oh, my God, you wouldn't believe it. 71 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,040 My acid indigestion is so much better 72 00:06:41,041 --> 00:06:44,030 since Dr Wilson prescribed the antacid. 73 00:06:44,205 --> 00:06:46,993 - The tablets are better than the liquid. - Yeah. 74 00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:52,293 But last night I woke up at 3am with the most unbelievable heartburn. 75 00:06:52,464 --> 00:06:54,504 My HCD levels are high, 76 00:06:54,674 --> 00:06:58,755 which can be a good thing, but it makes nausea so much worse. 77 00:06:58,928 --> 00:07:00,969 It should subside after 14 weeks. 78 00:07:01,139 --> 00:07:06,181 This morning I am pulling on my socks and I notice this varicose vein. 79 00:07:06,352 --> 00:07:09,604 If she keeps doing yoga and pelvic floor exercises... 80 00:07:09,772 --> 00:07:12,164 It's because of the increase in hormone production 81 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,934 that the walls of the veins relax. 82 00:07:15,111 --> 00:07:17,567 It's unbelievable what the body goes through. 83 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,942 Which reminds me, today is our ceremony in spirit flow. 84 00:07:21,117 --> 00:07:24,487 - What ceremony? - We told you about it. 85 00:07:24,662 --> 00:07:30,038 The Sikhs believe that the soul enters the foetus's body at 13 weeks. 86 00:07:31,294 --> 00:07:34,663 - Cool. - My yoga teacher does this ritual. 87 00:07:34,839 --> 00:07:38,422 We were hoping that you guys would be there for the chanting. 88 00:07:38,593 --> 00:07:41,381 And there's gonna be a blessing. 89 00:07:41,554 --> 00:07:44,342 We wouldn't miss it. Would we? 90 00:07:45,975 --> 00:07:49,261 - Absolutely not. - Sounds great. 91 00:07:57,153 --> 00:08:04,402 ♪ Om... ♪ 92 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:15,542 ♪ Om... ♪ 93 00:08:15,713 --> 00:08:17,172 Om... my God. 94 00:08:17,339 --> 00:08:22,418 Now, if you'll all join me in singing "May the Longtime Sun" 95 00:08:22,595 --> 00:08:27,424 and remember to send your blessings to Tina and Bette 96 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,017 and the new being they're creating. 97 00:08:31,187 --> 00:08:36,099 ♪ May the longtime sun shine upon you ♪ 98 00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:41,187 ♪ All love surround you ♪ 99 00:08:41,363 --> 00:08:46,869 ♪ And the pure light within you ♪ 100 00:08:47,036 --> 00:08:51,165 ♪ Guide your way home ♪ 101 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:55,959 ♪ May the longtime sun shine upon you... ♪ 102 00:09:27,618 --> 00:09:30,406 What happened to you? 103 00:09:33,582 --> 00:09:36,156 I know that you... 104 00:09:36,335 --> 00:09:39,870 ... don't wanna talk to me after what I said to you. 105 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:43,084 What do you need, Jenny? 106 00:09:43,258 --> 00:09:45,217 I need a bath. 107 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:50,343 Can I go to your house? 108 00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:53,928 I can wait for your break. 109 00:09:54,103 --> 00:09:57,437 I thought you never wanted to see me again. 110 00:09:58,607 --> 00:10:01,230 We were together for four years. 111 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,945 We were engaged. 112 00:10:08,116 --> 00:10:11,533 I just had to try to make things work. 113 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,489 He really loves you. 114 00:10:21,964 --> 00:10:24,800 He came to show me. 115 00:10:26,635 --> 00:10:31,179 - Tim did that to you? - Yes, but I'm not gonna press charges. 116 00:10:34,518 --> 00:10:37,306 Am I just a coward? 117 00:10:39,564 --> 00:10:41,772 And a liar? 118 00:10:44,569 --> 00:10:46,859 And a cheater? 119 00:11:17,018 --> 00:11:18,300 Adiós, chiquitas. 120 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:22,809 - Oh, bye, baby. Take care. - See you guys. 121 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,608 Bye. 122 00:11:24,776 --> 00:11:27,979 Tell us again about this crazy party on the boat. 123 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:33,066 All right. Harry booked it, right? But he has to go out of town. 124 00:11:33,243 --> 00:11:38,155 There's a free bar. There are very sweet cocktail waitresses. 125 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:42,033 - It could be tit. - I'm sure it will be tit. 126 00:11:42,210 --> 00:11:47,715 And I'm sure that you will completely understand why we won't be there. 127 00:11:47,882 --> 00:11:51,501 - That's too bad. You're missing out. - I'm nesting. 128 00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:56,139 I wish I could describe what it feels like. It's... It's... 129 00:11:56,307 --> 00:11:59,843 - We can use our imaginations. - ... primal! 130 00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:02,392 Animals do this when they're gestating. 131 00:12:02,563 --> 00:12:06,728 You become a homebody. You just retreat like a brooding hen. 132 00:12:07,903 --> 00:12:10,008 So you're gonna pass up a girl-party 133 00:12:10,009 --> 00:12:12,696 on the most famous gin palace in the Pacific 134 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:15,192 so you can go home and sit on an egg? 135 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:19,913 - Is this what I'm hearing? - Yes, that is what you're hearing. Yes, we are. 136 00:12:20,081 --> 00:12:22,704 - I gotta get back to work. - Bye. 137 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:25,711 - Thanks for coming. - OK. Bye. 138 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:28,834 - It was lovely. - Yeah, congratulations. 139 00:12:29,007 --> 00:12:31,842 - Quite moving. - It was really pretty. 140 00:12:32,010 --> 00:12:36,839 - It's so desperate. We have to do this. - Six o'clock. OK? 141 00:12:37,015 --> 00:12:38,676 - Right. - See you later. 142 00:12:54,615 --> 00:12:56,989 Sorry I'm so late, sweetie. 143 00:12:57,159 --> 00:13:01,490 I forgot the three new natural childbirth books we... 144 00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:07,754 What's going on? 145 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:12,500 - These guys have something to say. - Have a seat next to Tina. 146 00:13:12,675 --> 00:13:15,511 - Can I just... - No, no. I have it. 147 00:13:15,678 --> 00:13:19,178 - OK. - OK. Yeah? Yeah. 148 00:13:20,307 --> 00:13:22,370 Will you put that in the fridge? 149 00:13:22,371 --> 00:13:25,469 Leaving hot food out brings the bacteria to life. 150 00:13:25,647 --> 00:13:29,515 Toxoplasmosis is a prevalent cause of birth defects. 151 00:13:29,692 --> 00:13:33,442 You get it from contaminated food, unpasteurised cheese and... 152 00:13:33,612 --> 00:13:36,151 - Cats. Cats. - Outdoor cats. 153 00:13:36,323 --> 00:13:41,485 - Slander against cats. Write that down. - What are you writing, anyway? 154 00:13:41,662 --> 00:13:44,699 OK, here goes. 155 00:13:44,873 --> 00:13:48,077 The reason we're here, your friends and family: 156 00:13:48,252 --> 00:13:51,040 because we do consider you our family, 157 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:54,963 that's why we were at that ritual thing... 158 00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:57,708 is to perform an intervention. 159 00:13:57,887 --> 00:14:00,295 My cousins did this for my Uncle Bill. 160 00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:02,915 He hasn't had a drink since they put him in the straitjacket 161 00:14:02,916 --> 00:14:05,431 and hauled him off to rehab. 162 00:14:05,602 --> 00:14:08,439 - Thank you for that, Shane. - Sure. 163 00:14:08,606 --> 00:14:14,645 - Now, I know what you're thinking... - Good, because we're totally mystified. 164 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:17,906 An intervention is about helping people you love 165 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,613 change destructive patterns of behaviour. 166 00:14:20,785 --> 00:14:23,573 - Over the past approximately... - Twelve. 167 00:14:23,745 --> 00:14:27,447 ... twelve weeks, we've noticed a very alarming pattern. 168 00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:29,997 Um... You two are having a baby. 169 00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:34,002 - And we are very happy for you. - Why wouldn't you be? 170 00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:37,508 - Jump in any time. - OK. Um... guys. 171 00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:42,589 We've seen this happen with other couples. Janet and Sue, for instance. 172 00:14:42,765 --> 00:14:46,550 Claudia and Tammy... Oh, God, especially Mimi and Ivy. 173 00:14:46,727 --> 00:14:51,224 It would kill us, you guys, if you wound up like Mimi and Ivy. 174 00:14:51,398 --> 00:14:55,018 We wouldn't be your friends if we just stood back and... 175 00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:59,144 ... let you get so... so... 176 00:14:59,323 --> 00:15:01,363 - What? - Boring. 177 00:15:02,909 --> 00:15:05,152 - Boring. - Boring, guys. 178 00:15:05,328 --> 00:15:06,872 Boring? 179 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:11,286 I know this is painful. Denial's very common. It's OK. 180 00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:14,960 That's why we've made this list of incidents 181 00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:17,233 and this multiple-choice self-assessment test, 182 00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:19,923 which we'll go through with you. 183 00:15:20,094 --> 00:15:23,510 Then you can fill it out together and tally the results. 184 00:15:23,681 --> 00:15:26,173 It has results? 185 00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:30,514 - Results you can... tally? - Jesus! 186 00:15:30,687 --> 00:15:33,096 - OK. Ready? - No, but go ahead. 187 00:15:33,273 --> 00:15:36,011 March 5. TK arrives at The Planet 188 00:15:36,012 --> 00:15:38,270 with a catalogue of maternity underwear 189 00:15:38,445 --> 00:15:41,045 and takes up breakfast making everyone choose 190 00:15:41,046 --> 00:15:43,072 between cotton granny-panties 191 00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:46,943 and wide-waistband stretch Lycra maternity briefs. 192 00:15:47,121 --> 00:15:50,407 Sure, I did that, but I needed you to help me... 193 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,370 Acceptance is the first step, Tina. Dana. 194 00:15:53,543 --> 00:15:57,874 Right. Tina, this one's for you, from the questionnaire. 195 00:15:58,048 --> 00:16:03,007 An appropriate response to the question "Hi, how are you?" is... 196 00:16:03,178 --> 00:16:08,174 - I don't know. A. - A. "Fine, thanks. And you?" 197 00:16:08,350 --> 00:16:12,182 B, which also would have been good: "I'm feeling a little tired, 198 00:16:12,354 --> 00:16:15,724 but really happy to see you guys." 199 00:16:15,899 --> 00:16:20,443 - But C? Shane. - Yep. Um... C. 200 00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:22,920 "I'm taking progesterone suppositories 201 00:16:22,921 --> 00:16:25,322 and my vaginal discharge is all gooey." 202 00:16:25,492 --> 00:16:27,578 "My gums are spongy and bleeding from the hormones 203 00:16:27,579 --> 00:16:31,995 and extra blood in my body." 204 00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:34,657 Bette, don't think this is just about Tina. 205 00:16:34,835 --> 00:16:40,292 - I'm sure. Bored the hell out of you. - Look, guys, we love you so much. 206 00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,839 We love you guys. We do. 207 00:16:43,010 --> 00:16:45,050 Ditto. Love you. 208 00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:48,636 That's why it pains us to see you in this downward spiral. 209 00:16:48,806 --> 00:16:52,058 I mean, Tina, look at your feet. 210 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,955 Look, it says "True/False. 211 00:16:58,956 --> 00:17:01,897 Right now I am wearing fuzzy-wuzzy slippers." 212 00:17:11,829 --> 00:17:14,119 - All right. - OK. 213 00:17:14,290 --> 00:17:16,960 So, uh, maybe give you some copies. 214 00:17:17,127 --> 00:17:21,291 - Here's some extras in case you mess up. - See ya. 215 00:17:21,464 --> 00:17:25,000 - OK, bye-bye. - Love you guys. 216 00:17:33,851 --> 00:17:37,897 You're not bored by your mommies, are you? 217 00:17:38,064 --> 00:17:40,437 Not. 218 00:17:59,127 --> 00:18:01,535 ¡Hola! 219 00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:07,208 Oh. Wait... Can you hold on a minute? Just one minute. 220 00:18:11,347 --> 00:18:14,184 Hi! Yeah. Yeah, this is me. 221 00:18:14,350 --> 00:18:16,724 It's kind of a whistle-stop tour. 222 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:20,561 Washington U tomorrow, then LA the following day. 223 00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:23,650 I've been offered a place at USC, an internship. 224 00:18:23,817 --> 00:18:28,611 Anyways, what I was thinking... I'm in interviews most of the afternoon 225 00:18:28,782 --> 00:18:31,866 and then I'm catching an evening flight back to DC. 226 00:18:32,034 --> 00:18:37,457 But I thought maybe... maybe we could meet before I leave. 227 00:18:37,624 --> 00:18:39,903 I realise you're not supposed to put yourself in... 228 00:18:39,904 --> 00:18:42,785 you know, stressful situations 229 00:18:42,962 --> 00:18:45,252 at this stage in the recovery process 230 00:18:45,423 --> 00:18:47,997 and I wanna be respectful of that. 231 00:18:48,175 --> 00:18:51,961 No, I'm OK. I can handle it. 232 00:18:52,138 --> 00:18:54,712 OK? I'll see you then. 233 00:18:54,891 --> 00:18:59,221 That's pretty much it until they release the campaign. 234 00:18:59,395 --> 00:19:04,105 You look fucking hot. You should dress like that more often. 235 00:19:04,275 --> 00:19:10,231 - I'm going to a party later. - Great. That reminds me of one thing. 236 00:19:10,406 --> 00:19:14,654 Usually, in a contract like this, there's a lifestyle clause, 237 00:19:14,827 --> 00:19:16,815 in which you, as the spokesperson, 238 00:19:16,816 --> 00:19:20,700 are expected to reflect the company's image 239 00:19:20,874 --> 00:19:26,167 in all aspects of your life: stupid things like no public drunkenness 240 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:29,091 or... no Satan worshipping. 241 00:19:30,176 --> 00:19:34,256 This is the deal. Once you sign this thing, Subaru owns your ass. 242 00:19:34,429 --> 00:19:38,346 - You've gotta play by their rules. - What about Martina? 243 00:19:38,517 --> 00:19:43,430 Yeah. I know Subaru did that whole Martina-lifestyle campaign 244 00:19:43,606 --> 00:19:46,098 but that's Martina. She's a superstar. 245 00:19:46,275 --> 00:19:50,772 She can pull off the whole gay thing but you're not Martina, babe. 246 00:19:50,946 --> 00:19:54,530 You're not Tiger Woods, you're not a superstar. 247 00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:58,152 What you are is very hot, very sexy. 248 00:19:58,329 --> 00:20:01,081 This is your chance to cash in. 249 00:20:01,249 --> 00:20:04,784 But you gotta face the facts, Dana. Clock's ticking. 250 00:20:04,961 --> 00:20:08,412 Your... Anna Kournikova days are numbered. 251 00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:12,877 - Fuck you, Conrad. - Hey, I've offered. 252 00:20:13,051 --> 00:20:16,671 Lighten up, Fairbanks. You can be a les when you retire. 253 00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:21,510 Right now, you're an ass-kickin' but... dick-lovin'... athlete. 254 00:20:21,685 --> 00:20:23,070 Who's getting a fat paycheck. 255 00:20:23,071 --> 00:20:27,724 All you gotta do is smile pretty for the camera. 256 00:20:36,659 --> 00:20:38,533 - Hey, ladies, how you doing? - Good. 257 00:20:38,702 --> 00:20:41,657 - Names, please? - Bette Porter and Tina Kennard. 258 00:20:41,830 --> 00:20:46,244 Shane's not here yet but make yourselves feel comfortable. 259 00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:50,287 - Thanks. - You're the first two to arrive. 260 00:20:52,883 --> 00:20:55,043 Uh-oh, we're the first ones here. 261 00:20:55,219 --> 00:20:59,087 - That's really boring. So boring. - That's boring. So boring. 262 00:20:59,974 --> 00:21:02,761 God, this is so nice. 263 00:21:03,811 --> 00:21:06,054 It is. 264 00:21:07,273 --> 00:21:09,312 And so peaceful. 265 00:21:37,678 --> 00:21:40,715 Yeah, this is what we needed. 266 00:22:02,869 --> 00:22:05,029 We've got about an hour. 267 00:22:41,783 --> 00:22:46,446 You still haven't told me... What do you think counts as sex? 268 00:22:51,459 --> 00:22:55,208 I don't know. If you have an orgasm? 269 00:22:56,673 --> 00:23:00,285 That would mean thousands of married women 270 00:23:00,286 --> 00:23:03,471 with children have never had sex. 271 00:23:04,889 --> 00:23:09,552 But either way, you and I definitely have had sex. 272 00:23:10,770 --> 00:23:15,765 You're so sexy, Dana. You make me come so hard. 273 00:23:20,947 --> 00:23:24,150 - Did I offend you? - No, everything's fine. 274 00:23:29,706 --> 00:23:32,032 - What's up? - I need you to stop. 275 00:23:32,208 --> 00:23:36,669 - Stop what? - Touching me. Kissing me. 276 00:23:36,838 --> 00:23:39,626 I can't do this. I'm not ready for all this. 277 00:23:39,799 --> 00:23:40,881 I don't believe you. 278 00:23:40,882 --> 00:23:45,042 I've never met anyone more ready in my entire life. 279 00:23:45,221 --> 00:23:49,009 I know... I'm gay and when I hide that, 280 00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:50,810 I hide the best part of me. 281 00:23:50,977 --> 00:23:55,106 But you don't understand what it means to be me. 282 00:23:57,066 --> 00:24:00,650 My clock is ticking and you wanna have sex in the street. 283 00:24:00,820 --> 00:24:04,439 - What? No. - I don't wanna parade around. 284 00:24:04,615 --> 00:24:09,361 I'm not like you. I care what they think. 285 00:24:09,537 --> 00:24:11,146 Is this about the ad campaign? 286 00:24:11,147 --> 00:24:15,327 Did your agent scare the shit out of you? 287 00:24:15,501 --> 00:24:19,037 I can't stand to be judged by you all the time. 288 00:24:19,213 --> 00:24:20,490 You're a bigger, better person than me 289 00:24:20,491 --> 00:24:24,422 and whenever I look at you I'm reminded of that. 290 00:24:24,594 --> 00:24:28,379 I'm sorry. I've been putting too much pressure on you. 291 00:24:28,556 --> 00:24:31,427 - Maybe we should just... - No. 292 00:24:33,477 --> 00:24:36,052 No. 293 00:24:37,648 --> 00:24:40,899 I just... I can't. OK? Just forget it. 294 00:24:44,613 --> 00:24:47,569 I can't. This is too hard. 295 00:24:53,915 --> 00:24:55,872 I don't wanna be with you. 296 00:25:09,889 --> 00:25:13,472 What were you doing last night around 9.15? 297 00:25:13,642 --> 00:25:16,929 I don't know. I think brushing my teeth. 298 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,064 Did you feel anything? Because I was sending you reiki. 299 00:25:22,234 --> 00:25:25,853 Oh, my God! Did you say 9.15? 300 00:25:26,029 --> 00:25:30,195 - Reiki. Isn't that boring? - Really boring. Write it down. 301 00:25:30,368 --> 00:25:31,560 You're under so much stress 302 00:25:31,561 --> 00:25:35,244 with everything that's going on with your mother. 303 00:25:35,414 --> 00:25:39,365 If you want, I could do some hands-on with you later. 304 00:25:39,543 --> 00:25:43,412 I would love that. I would really love that. 305 00:25:43,589 --> 00:25:47,884 I actually... I have this... I don't know if you can feel this. 306 00:25:51,013 --> 00:25:53,303 - Can you feel that? - Yeah. 307 00:25:53,474 --> 00:25:55,800 It's definitely... blocked. 308 00:26:02,942 --> 00:26:05,516 Hold on a second. 309 00:26:11,158 --> 00:26:14,279 Hey. Hey, hey. Where's your woman? 310 00:26:15,036 --> 00:26:18,122 She couldn't make it. 311 00:26:18,290 --> 00:26:21,991 - That sucks. Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine. 312 00:26:22,169 --> 00:26:23,545 Cool. 313 00:26:26,757 --> 00:26:30,376 - Are you feeling that? - Yeah. 314 00:26:30,552 --> 00:26:33,174 Yeah, I think so. 315 00:26:33,347 --> 00:26:35,921 I'm working telepathically on your glutes. 316 00:26:36,100 --> 00:26:38,224 Right. 317 00:26:38,394 --> 00:26:43,187 You're carrying a lot of stress in your lower back and hips. 318 00:26:44,650 --> 00:26:48,731 Right. Now... I'm releasing it. 319 00:26:48,904 --> 00:26:51,526 OK. 320 00:26:57,370 --> 00:26:59,779 Can I take your shirt off? It might help. 321 00:26:59,956 --> 00:27:04,454 Yeah. Yeah, sure, of course. If you think it'll help. 322 00:27:06,505 --> 00:27:11,133 - OK. - All right. 323 00:27:12,511 --> 00:27:14,587 Are you ready? Cheers. 324 00:27:14,763 --> 00:27:16,803 Cheers. 325 00:27:32,780 --> 00:27:35,355 One more, one more. 326 00:27:35,534 --> 00:27:39,283 - One more? - Yes, one more. 327 00:27:40,664 --> 00:27:43,500 Are we ready? Ready? Once again. 328 00:27:43,666 --> 00:27:46,205 - Go. - Cheers. 329 00:27:49,339 --> 00:27:51,629 Fabulous. OK. 330 00:27:53,218 --> 00:27:54,381 Whoo! 331 00:28:31,548 --> 00:28:33,790 - Wait. - What? What? 332 00:28:33,967 --> 00:28:36,292 I have something. 333 00:28:43,517 --> 00:28:48,346 - You're kidding, right? - Why would I be kidding? 334 00:28:48,523 --> 00:28:54,194 Because... because you're a man. You know? You got the real thing. 335 00:28:55,446 --> 00:28:58,234 That's not how I wanna make love to you. 336 00:28:58,408 --> 00:29:01,114 That's how I want you to, OK? 337 00:29:01,286 --> 00:29:05,783 - But it goes against who I am. - Listen, you're a man. 338 00:29:05,957 --> 00:29:10,002 You're a man named Lisa, but you're definitely a man. 339 00:29:11,462 --> 00:29:15,508 I'm a lesbian... man. 340 00:29:20,930 --> 00:29:22,971 Oh... 341 00:29:30,898 --> 00:29:33,390 Dana's really getting down with her bad self. 342 00:29:38,197 --> 00:29:43,406 And I bet her bad self is gonna feel real bad in the morning. 343 00:29:49,249 --> 00:29:53,463 - How are you holding up? - Mm, not so good. 344 00:29:53,629 --> 00:29:55,133 Do you think they have a 12-step programme 345 00:29:55,134 --> 00:29:59,051 for people who are addicted to domesticity? 346 00:30:21,031 --> 00:30:23,701 Oh my God! 347 00:30:28,914 --> 00:30:31,241 What? What's the matter? 348 00:30:32,376 --> 00:30:34,666 What? 349 00:30:35,963 --> 00:30:38,538 No, no, no. Don't do this. 350 00:30:39,634 --> 00:30:41,793 What... 351 00:30:41,969 --> 00:30:44,544 But you had a good time! 352 00:30:46,556 --> 00:30:49,940 Slip under my cloak of boringness 353 00:30:49,941 --> 00:30:52,477 and no one will even notice we're gone. 354 00:30:54,815 --> 00:30:58,600 ♪ A year of love ♪ 355 00:30:58,777 --> 00:31:02,147 ♪ If now you like it ♪ 356 00:31:02,322 --> 00:31:06,191 ♪ You will soon discover ♪ 357 00:31:06,369 --> 00:31:09,240 ♪ That the days are eternal ♪ 358 00:31:09,413 --> 00:31:13,114 ♪ And empty without me ♪ 359 00:31:14,627 --> 00:31:16,786 ♪ And at night ♪ 360 00:31:18,422 --> 00:31:21,128 ♪ And at night ♪ 361 00:31:22,426 --> 00:31:25,962 ♪ For not feeling alone ♪ 362 00:31:27,223 --> 00:31:33,724 ♪ You will remember our happy days ♪ 363 00:31:34,813 --> 00:31:42,062 ♪ You will remember the taste of my kisses ♪ 364 00:31:42,237 --> 00:31:46,070 ♪ Yentenderás ♪ 365 00:31:46,241 --> 00:31:50,287 ♪ En un sólo momento ♪ 366 00:31:50,454 --> 00:31:53,242 ♪ Que significa ♪ 367 00:31:53,415 --> 00:31:57,877 ♪ Un año de amor ♪ 368 00:31:58,045 --> 00:32:00,453 ♪ Que significa ♪ 369 00:32:01,798 --> 00:32:04,171 ♪ Un año de amor ♪ 370 00:32:23,028 --> 00:32:26,529 Hang in there. I got you. 371 00:32:26,699 --> 00:32:30,365 Oh, baby, let it out. Let it go. 372 00:32:31,036 --> 00:32:33,528 Oof! 373 00:33:02,900 --> 00:33:07,196 Here's your hot milk and honey if you still want it. 374 00:33:11,201 --> 00:33:14,736 - I love you. - Love you, too. 375 00:33:17,582 --> 00:33:22,625 And I think you're the most exciting woman in all of Los Angeles. 376 00:33:26,758 --> 00:33:30,377 Mm. Baby, will you turn off the light? 377 00:33:40,521 --> 00:33:43,773 Hey, you guys, where are Bette and Tina? 378 00:33:45,026 --> 00:33:48,776 - Boring. - Yeah, so boring. 379 00:33:49,864 --> 00:33:52,901 I don't know. 380 00:33:53,076 --> 00:33:55,745 I mean, think about it, what's more boring? 381 00:33:55,912 --> 00:33:58,618 You can make endless lists. 382 00:33:58,789 --> 00:34:03,867 You can bawl your head off and then puke over the side of the boat. 383 00:34:04,045 --> 00:34:06,335 Or you get to go home 384 00:34:06,506 --> 00:34:07,580 and sleep with the same person 385 00:34:07,581 --> 00:34:11,750 you've been in love with for seven years. 386 00:34:13,304 --> 00:34:16,342 I don't know. 387 00:34:16,516 --> 00:34:18,557 - Hey! - Shane. 388 00:34:18,727 --> 00:34:20,970 - Shane... - Please get down. 389 00:34:21,146 --> 00:34:25,975 Shane, you're freaking me out. Get down! 390 00:35:55,990 --> 00:35:58,529 Oh! Oh... 391 00:35:58,701 --> 00:36:01,275 I'm fucking coming. 392 00:36:03,289 --> 00:36:06,955 Wakey, wakey! Jesus fucking Christ, what happened to you? 393 00:36:07,126 --> 00:36:09,166 - I got food poisoning. - Oh, God! 394 00:36:09,337 --> 00:36:13,964 Tell whats-her-name to do you sober the night before a photo shoot. 395 00:36:14,132 --> 00:36:18,345 - Is she up there? - No, she... 396 00:36:19,888 --> 00:36:24,433 - I'll go get ready. - Yeah. Make yourself presentable. 397 00:36:24,601 --> 00:36:27,176 Make-up artists will do the rest. 398 00:36:28,355 --> 00:36:31,891 They can work wonders. Remember Gia? 399 00:36:32,067 --> 00:36:35,023 Come on, five more. Don't give up. 400 00:36:35,196 --> 00:36:38,648 - Not if you want buns of steel. - I don't want buns of steel. 401 00:36:38,824 --> 00:36:42,075 I do, if I don't have to strap on that torture treatment. 402 00:36:42,245 --> 00:36:44,570 - These girls like strap-ons. - Shut up! 403 00:36:44,747 --> 00:36:47,950 - Oh now, you didn't say that! - And... done. 404 00:36:48,125 --> 00:36:51,909 Come on, let's stretch. 405 00:36:52,088 --> 00:36:56,798 - What's up? - What are you doing tonight? 406 00:36:56,967 --> 00:36:59,839 A lot of paperwork. Why? 407 00:37:00,012 --> 00:37:03,263 David called me the other day. 408 00:37:05,768 --> 00:37:11,189 OK. So I'll leave you guys to it. Same time tomorrow? 409 00:37:11,356 --> 00:37:15,190 - Yeah. - Good job. Bye. 410 00:37:15,361 --> 00:37:17,935 Did you know he was gonna call me? 411 00:37:21,492 --> 00:37:23,900 Dad said he might. 412 00:37:25,662 --> 00:37:30,325 Don't be angry with me. I didn't tell you in case he didn't. 413 00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:33,586 That's bullshit! This charade about him calling me 414 00:37:33,754 --> 00:37:36,162 because Melvin says it's all right? 415 00:37:36,340 --> 00:37:38,499 It's bullshit! 416 00:37:38,675 --> 00:37:41,084 I'm sorry you feel that way. 417 00:37:44,348 --> 00:37:49,556 I told him I would meet him tonight at six at his hotel. 418 00:37:50,646 --> 00:37:53,351 I'm so scared. 419 00:37:54,941 --> 00:37:57,149 Would you come with me? 420 00:38:06,995 --> 00:38:09,238 I'll pick you up at 5.30. 421 00:38:15,753 --> 00:38:17,582 What are you thinking? 422 00:38:25,513 --> 00:38:28,930 - I'm thinking that I'm very happy. - You are? 423 00:38:29,100 --> 00:38:34,772 Yeah. And I can't believe that I'm so happy while Tim hurts so much. 424 00:38:34,939 --> 00:38:37,431 Well, you deserve to be happy. 425 00:38:38,735 --> 00:38:44,110 You know, I have my journals and my computer at Tim's and... 426 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:49,199 I was wondering if I could bring them here. 427 00:38:49,371 --> 00:38:51,779 - You wanna bring them here? - Yes. 428 00:38:51,956 --> 00:38:56,833 I'm not saying I wanna move in. It would just be for a couple of days. 429 00:38:57,003 --> 00:39:00,788 But I feel like I should be writing right now. 430 00:39:00,965 --> 00:39:03,042 I would feel honoured. 431 00:39:04,010 --> 00:39:09,136 - I think I could... - You should move here. Now. 432 00:39:09,307 --> 00:39:11,900 Really? 'Cause it's so beautiful 433 00:39:11,901 --> 00:39:15,263 the way the light is coming in through the windows. 434 00:39:15,438 --> 00:39:18,275 I feel very inspired. 435 00:39:18,441 --> 00:39:20,684 - You do? - I do. 436 00:39:20,860 --> 00:39:26,484 Yes, you could... you could write on the desk 437 00:39:26,658 --> 00:39:30,906 and looking over at the canals. And... 438 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,325 ... you could write great works of literature 439 00:39:34,326 --> 00:39:38,000 that would go down in history. 440 00:39:40,713 --> 00:39:43,799 Don't you wish there was a parallel universe? 441 00:39:43,967 --> 00:39:47,134 - Parallel universe? - Yeah. 442 00:39:48,304 --> 00:39:51,923 Where we could live out this fantasy. 443 00:39:52,099 --> 00:39:57,059 Oh. You know, it wouldn't be for more than a week. 444 00:39:58,064 --> 00:40:00,176 'Cause I... can't stay at Tim's any more 445 00:40:00,177 --> 00:40:03,901 and it would just be until I... 446 00:40:04,987 --> 00:40:08,737 - I guess I have to find... - I would love to. 447 00:40:08,908 --> 00:40:13,073 - You would love to? - I would love to. Oh, yes. 448 00:40:13,246 --> 00:40:16,164 But Francesca's coming back tomorrow. 449 00:40:16,332 --> 00:40:19,998 - Francesca? - Yeah. 450 00:40:20,170 --> 00:40:26,173 She was in Rome, doing a ballet, and then four months in Budapest. 451 00:40:27,176 --> 00:40:30,379 And... and doing a movie. 452 00:40:33,265 --> 00:40:36,552 Who is Francesca? 453 00:40:36,727 --> 00:40:40,347 Francesca. You know. I told you. 454 00:40:40,523 --> 00:40:42,849 Everybody knows. 455 00:40:45,236 --> 00:40:49,069 No. I don't know. 456 00:40:57,289 --> 00:40:59,663 Where are you going? 457 00:40:59,834 --> 00:41:04,047 Jenny, this is not the solution. We have to talk about this. 458 00:41:04,213 --> 00:41:09,635 The difference between you and I... Francesca and I... 459 00:41:09,802 --> 00:41:12,970 It's so different. 460 00:41:21,021 --> 00:41:26,100 She travels four to five months a year. She's a costume designer. 461 00:41:27,195 --> 00:41:29,484 What's her last name? 462 00:41:30,782 --> 00:41:33,534 Wolff. With two Fs. 463 00:41:41,793 --> 00:41:45,078 Who are you? 464 00:41:47,381 --> 00:41:50,584 Someone who cares about you. 465 00:41:50,759 --> 00:41:52,201 You'll find that your life is richer, 466 00:41:52,202 --> 00:41:57,642 more full of possibilities and choices. 467 00:41:57,808 --> 00:42:00,051 I've opened up your world. 468 00:42:02,145 --> 00:42:04,602 - Fuck you. - Oh, Jenny... 469 00:42:04,773 --> 00:42:06,518 Don't... 470 00:42:09,862 --> 00:42:12,188 ... touch me. 471 00:42:27,546 --> 00:42:30,797 That's great, Dana! You look amazing. 472 00:42:32,009 --> 00:42:35,176 Look out, Kournikova, here comes Dana Fairbanks. 473 00:42:50,319 --> 00:42:53,439 - Let's not sit at the bar. - Don't be ridiculous. 474 00:42:53,614 --> 00:42:56,320 - I'm not gonna drink tonight. - Tonight? 475 00:42:56,492 --> 00:42:57,987 Come on. 476 00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:03,409 - When did you last see me shit-faced? - That's not the point. 477 00:43:03,582 --> 00:43:07,083 You and David have been brainwashed by Melvin 478 00:43:07,252 --> 00:43:10,586 into thinking that I'm some kind of a falling-down drunk. 479 00:43:10,756 --> 00:43:13,923 - I got it under control. - What can I get you? 480 00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:16,133 A mineral water, please. 481 00:43:16,303 --> 00:43:19,886 I'm sorry, I will have the same thing also. 482 00:43:20,056 --> 00:43:23,260 Oh, better yet, I'll have a seltzer. 483 00:43:23,435 --> 00:43:26,521 - How about a squirt of lime in that? - Sure. 484 00:43:26,688 --> 00:43:27,852 OK. 485 00:43:33,028 --> 00:43:36,861 I was having a drink when David called. 486 00:43:37,032 --> 00:43:41,576 And I haven't had one since. It's been two days. 487 00:43:41,745 --> 00:43:45,873 - I'm gonna try. - That's good. At least you're trying. 488 00:43:46,958 --> 00:43:50,743 - How do you do it? - I have no desire to drink. 489 00:43:50,921 --> 00:43:53,922 No, I mean, how do you keep it all together? 490 00:43:54,090 --> 00:43:59,797 You got it all down. Career, love... Now you're gonna have a family. 491 00:44:03,225 --> 00:44:05,681 What? Is something wrong with Tina? 492 00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:09,720 No, everything's fine, Tina's fine, everything's great. 493 00:44:09,898 --> 00:44:13,350 - Are you sure? - Yeah, I just have things on my mind. 494 00:44:13,526 --> 00:44:17,145 - But it's nothing. - I know what it is. 495 00:44:21,493 --> 00:44:25,326 You are having the daddy blues. 496 00:44:25,497 --> 00:44:29,744 You are worrying about all the responsibilities coming down on you. 497 00:44:29,918 --> 00:44:31,700 The financial responsibilities, 498 00:44:31,701 --> 00:44:35,957 the "I can't take any more risk" responsibilities. 499 00:44:36,133 --> 00:44:38,209 Now there are two other lives 500 00:44:38,385 --> 00:44:42,253 that are totally dependent on you keeping everything together. 501 00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:44,590 It's a monster. It's big. 502 00:44:44,766 --> 00:44:48,101 Yeah, it is. I'm sure that's all it is. 503 00:44:48,270 --> 00:44:51,889 Sure it is. 'Cause you and Tina are solid. 504 00:44:52,065 --> 00:44:56,609 You've got a marriage like God chose you two to find each other. 505 00:44:56,778 --> 00:45:00,231 That's a love you never wanna let go. 506 00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:06,031 I've gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. 507 00:45:13,502 --> 00:45:16,126 That's not my concern. 508 00:45:18,883 --> 00:45:21,671 You are making one big production out of that. 509 00:45:21,844 --> 00:45:24,965 I just want you to get your money's worth. 510 00:45:30,311 --> 00:45:34,096 - Enjoy. - Skol, baby. 511 00:45:43,658 --> 00:45:46,363 That was amazing. It was really great. 512 00:45:46,536 --> 00:45:49,158 Thank you. Thanks very much. 513 00:45:49,330 --> 00:45:51,999 Do you guys wanna see the preliminary art? 514 00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:55,085 - Yeah. - Super. I got mock-ups over here. 515 00:45:56,170 --> 00:46:00,833 Check these out. This is the one we like best. Our concept is... 516 00:46:02,844 --> 00:46:07,091 We wanna position you as a gay Anna Kournikova. 517 00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:10,681 - What? - The gay Anna Kournikova. 518 00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:15,228 Hold on a second, guys! What are you talking about? 519 00:46:15,397 --> 00:46:19,646 - This is not something we discussed... - I love it. I love it. 520 00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:24,399 I wanna be the gay Anna Kournikova. I do. 521 00:46:24,574 --> 00:46:28,868 - Well, that's great. - Wait a second, this is brilliant! 522 00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:34,198 This is exactly the kind of thing we've been groping for. It's a hook. 523 00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:38,125 - That's why they pay you the big bucks. - I don't know about that. 524 00:46:38,295 --> 00:46:40,373 Fantastic. Right, babe? 525 00:46:41,924 --> 00:46:46,883 - You're fired. - Get outta here! 526 00:46:47,054 --> 00:46:49,973 No, really. You're fired. 527 00:46:51,059 --> 00:46:54,032 Thank you so much. Thank you so much. 528 00:46:54,033 --> 00:46:57,347 You've no idea how good this feels. 529 00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:02,606 What time do you have? 530 00:47:02,778 --> 00:47:04,356 Seven. 531 00:47:07,324 --> 00:47:10,944 Maybe he got held up at his meeting. What time was he gonna finish? 532 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,789 It was four o'clock. 533 00:47:21,380 --> 00:47:23,955 That's not him, Kit. 534 00:47:29,596 --> 00:47:32,682 - What did you say his name was? - David Waters. 535 00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:35,140 Waters. Right. 536 00:47:35,311 --> 00:47:40,021 Here he is. David Waters checked out about 45 minutes ago. 537 00:47:40,190 --> 00:47:42,433 - Are you sure? - Yes. 538 00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:46,478 - He's about 25 years old. - Six feet tall, tan suit. 539 00:47:46,655 --> 00:47:51,898 I checked him out myself. I saw him get into a cab, in fact. 540 00:47:53,245 --> 00:47:57,742 I'm sure there's been a misunderstanding. We'll call him. 541 00:47:57,916 --> 00:48:01,666 D'you want me to call him? I have his number in DC. 542 00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:03,380 No. 543 00:48:35,328 --> 00:48:38,864 You have no reason to be kind to me, 544 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:42,742 but I need to stay in my writing studio tonight. 545 00:48:42,919 --> 00:48:45,245 Why? 546 00:48:46,339 --> 00:48:48,547 What happened? 547 00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:53,557 Please believe me when I say 548 00:48:53,558 --> 00:48:55,967 that I wish none of this had ever happened. 549 00:48:58,351 --> 00:49:00,760 Jenny... 550 00:49:01,938 --> 00:49:04,430 The things you say... 551 00:49:07,403 --> 00:49:10,985 ... have absolutely no meaning to me. 552 00:49:24,545 --> 00:49:26,584 One night. 553 00:49:30,801 --> 00:49:32,710 That's it. 554 00:49:39,267 --> 00:49:42,352 Go round the back.